The Power of Necessary Conflict: Why Facing the Issues is Key to Growth

Recently, I facilitated a meeting that brought together four of the most influential people in a company to tackle a process and staffing dilemma. To put it politely, the meeting got passionate. Voices were raised, fingers pointed, and unsavory facial expressions were exchanged. It wasn’t the sort of clean, composed meeting we’d all like to imagine. And while no one wishes for an environment of unchecked emotions, avoiding the real issues is far more destructive.

Most problems in life don't get solved purely because of the avoidance of conflict. The tendency to sidestep, suppress, or ignore problems rather than confront them head-on is a key reason why businesses stagnate and relationships strain. Over time, I’ve come to understand that conflict is not just a hurdle in the problem-solving process—it is an essential ingredient. It brings the hidden issues into the light, allowing people to voice their concerns and differing perspectives. When done right, conflict becomes a powerful tool for innovation and growth.

But let’s be honest: when most people think of conflict, it often carries a negative connotation. We equate it to fighting, heated arguments, and uncomfortable tension. However, conflict is a part of everyday life—whether you realize it or not. It’s there in the simple question of "Where should we go for dinner?" People have differing opinions about that, just as they do about major business decisions. What to do with someone who owes you money, how to handle a change in staffing, and even implementing a new process—these all involve conflicting ideas and desires.

Conflict arises because people care. They care about the outcomes, the people involved, and the potential impact. And when conflict is approached from the standpoint of trying to solve problems and move ahead rather than assigning blame, it becomes productive. Passionate discussions are not the enemy; silence, avoidance, and ignoring the root issue are the real threats.

This leads to one of the most significant challenges in leadership: many teams avoid having routine team meetings because they don’t want to deal with potential conflict. There’s an underlying fear that disagreements will boil over and make things worse. But the truth is, avoidance is the quickest way to ensure problems become systemic. Things don’t resolve themselves. Ignoring a problem only gives it room to fester and grow.

Mastering the art of conflict doesn’t mean creating unnecessary drama or allowing chaos to rule. Instead, it’s about learning how to recognize the underlying issues and addressing them openly and respectfully. It’s about listening to different perspectives, validating emotions, and, ultimately, finding a way forward that everyone understands—even if it’s not everyone’s first choice.

To effectively navigate necessary conflict, you need a few key skills:

1. Identify the Root Problem: Often, the thing people are arguing about isn’t the real issue. It’s essential to dig deeper. What are the underlying concerns driving the disagreement? Is it fear of change, concern for workload, or something else entirely? Getting to the root will make the conflict constructive rather than divisive.

2. Create an Environment for Honest Dialogue: Everyone needs to feel comfortable to express their opinions, even if they’re unpopular. Without the right environment, people will default to saying what they think others want to hear, and the real issues will remain hidden. Encourage openness and make it clear that differing opinions are welcome.

3. Keep Focused on the Goal: When emotions rise, it’s easy to lose sight of what everyone wants—a solution. Remind the group of the end goal. Conflict is part of the journey to getting there, but it’s the goal that binds everyone together.

4. Listen with the Intent to Understand: Too often, people listen to respond rather than understand. Make an effort to understand where the other person is coming from. Even if you don’t agree, acknowledgment of their perspective can shift the tone of a conversation from confrontational to collaborative.

5. Agree on the Path Forward: Conflict without resolution is pointless. Once everyone’s voice has been heard, the leader must drive the conversation toward a decision. Everyone may not leave thrilled, but if they leave with clarity, direction, and the knowledge that they’ve been heard, that’s a win.

The meeting I led, despite the raised voices and passionate exchanges, ended productively. By allowing the conflict to play out in a managed way, the team was able to uncover the real issues, make decisions, and move forward with a shared sense of clarity. Was it comfortable? No. But necessary growth rarely is.

Conflict, when properly managed, is like clearing a path through a dense forest. It might be hard work, but it’s the only way to move forward. When you master the art of navigating necessary conflict, you develop a lifelong skill that will serve you well in both your professional and personal life. Don’t fear it—embrace it as a powerful catalyst for change, innovation, and progress.